Ok, so I could write this week about how my dad is a complete asshole. I could write about how Matt and I had one of the scariest fights of my life. I could write about how my job is slowly sucking the life (and my money) out of me. However, that would not be about how this is the best week ever, so I will avoid all those topics until I can reflect on them with something good to say. Instead, I will tell you how this is the best Christmas ever.
Here are my Christmas plans: nothing. I bought no presents for my kids, so I have no wrapping to do. The three (yes, only 3 items purchased for all of my Christmas shopping to be complete) items I did purchase were bought online and shipped directly to the recipients. None of whom I have to see for the holiday! I have no cooking to do, because we're not having a Christmas dinner. The only thing I have to do all day on Christmas is go to my in-law's house for 2 hours for my kids to get their presents from Grandma and Grandpa. I have never been so excited for Christmas ever.
Please don't think I'm a big Grinch or anything. It's just that Christmas has been a horrible holiday for me for years. I won't depress anyone with lengthy stories of all the horrendous holiday disasters, but let me just say that last year I was on suicide watch for my mom and that was one of the better Christmases.
So, as everyone is running around seeing family, cooking dinner, stressing about everything, please take a moment to be jealous of me, sitting in my pjs, drinking a bottle of wine and doing nothing. Merry Christmas all!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Cutting back on my responisbilities
For the past year, I've had three jobs. I am a mom, I work at a daycare, and I run a mommy group. There was a time when I enjoyed all three, but lately it's all just been too much. The daycare has become increasingly frustrating (more on that next week), and quite frankly the mommy group has become unbearable. Do you know what it's like to try to organize 30 women and keep them all happy? I feel like the past several months have been nothing but listening to complaints, mediating fights, and putting up with just plain bitchiness. Don't get me wrong, I love the moms in my group. They are an amazing group of women. However, when I signed up to run the mom's group, I didn't realize that I would become all of these women's mom.
So a week ago I made a fabulous decision. I gave up my duties as mommy organizer. I didn't leave the group. I'm just no longer in charge. I was a bit worried that I wouldn't be able to give up control, however I am very happy to say that I am fully embracing my duty-free role in the group. I have received countless emails and phone calls requesting help or answers to questions. I haven't helped or replied to any. And I am loving it! A great stress has been lifted from my life and I am finally starting to feel like I can breathe again.
This is the best week ever because rather than writing schedules, managing money, checking attendance, responding to emails, and listening to everyone else's problems, I sat on my couch and did nothing but watch episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I am LOVING life.
So a week ago I made a fabulous decision. I gave up my duties as mommy organizer. I didn't leave the group. I'm just no longer in charge. I was a bit worried that I wouldn't be able to give up control, however I am very happy to say that I am fully embracing my duty-free role in the group. I have received countless emails and phone calls requesting help or answers to questions. I haven't helped or replied to any. And I am loving it! A great stress has been lifted from my life and I am finally starting to feel like I can breathe again.
This is the best week ever because rather than writing schedules, managing money, checking attendance, responding to emails, and listening to everyone else's problems, I sat on my couch and did nothing but watch episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I am LOVING life.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Driving lessons
Let me preface this by saying that when I started blogging, it was my intention to stay away from two topics because they are often hot button issues for me: my father and my faith. I will now steer headfirst into both.
Growing up, my family was what you would probably consider the typical Christian family. Well, maybe more than that. My dad was a pastor when I was born, but left the ministry by the time I was five. So, needless to say, I had a bit of a better understanding of Christianity than the typical Sunday church goer. However, as I grew up, I took the teachings of my parents and developed my own faith. I read, took classes and made my own decisions. While I won't go off on that diatribe now, the people who have heard it will mostly tell you that my faith is not of that of a typical Christian though still falls in line with the basic teachings of the Bible.
Recently, my father went bat-shit crazy. That is quite possibly the nicest way to put it. He has left his marriage of 35 years. He has disowned his son. He is living with some new family. He refuses to speak to any of his brothers. I could go on and on about the out of character things my father has done, but perhaps I'll save that for another blog. I think the one thing that has affected me the most is the fact that he now says he is agnostic. Most people don't understand why THIS is the factor I'm concentrating on. I've tried to come up with an analogy so that perhaps I can give clarity as to why his loss of faith has been one of the biggest life changers for me:
Most kids learn how to drive from their parents. They teach the rules of the road plus general driving techniques. As you grow as a driver, you get comfortable with the way the road feels and learn to make choices of your own until they way you drive, while based in your parents' teaching, is your own driving. Now imagine that you've been driving for at least 20 years and your instructor comes to you and laughs in your face about the way you drive. They tell you that the way they taught you was completely wrong. This is a person whose opinion you respect (or once did). This is a person who you thought was steering you down the right path. Now they tell you that blinkers are, in fact, optional? That passing on the left is only for suckers?
I know the analogy isn't perfect, but last night while on the phone with my father, he literally laughed at my faith. The faith that he instilled in me. Have I been driving on my own without a crash for quite some time? Absolutely. Do I still feel shaken by that fact that somehow this man who explained to me how the clutch worked and why it was important is now telling me to grind the gears? Umm, yeah!
I still have my faith. I love my faith. It is, and will forever be, a part of who I am. However, I feel just a tad tainted by the idea that the founder of my faith is now dropping cones hoping I crash.
Growing up, my family was what you would probably consider the typical Christian family. Well, maybe more than that. My dad was a pastor when I was born, but left the ministry by the time I was five. So, needless to say, I had a bit of a better understanding of Christianity than the typical Sunday church goer. However, as I grew up, I took the teachings of my parents and developed my own faith. I read, took classes and made my own decisions. While I won't go off on that diatribe now, the people who have heard it will mostly tell you that my faith is not of that of a typical Christian though still falls in line with the basic teachings of the Bible.
Recently, my father went bat-shit crazy. That is quite possibly the nicest way to put it. He has left his marriage of 35 years. He has disowned his son. He is living with some new family. He refuses to speak to any of his brothers. I could go on and on about the out of character things my father has done, but perhaps I'll save that for another blog. I think the one thing that has affected me the most is the fact that he now says he is agnostic. Most people don't understand why THIS is the factor I'm concentrating on. I've tried to come up with an analogy so that perhaps I can give clarity as to why his loss of faith has been one of the biggest life changers for me:
Most kids learn how to drive from their parents. They teach the rules of the road plus general driving techniques. As you grow as a driver, you get comfortable with the way the road feels and learn to make choices of your own until they way you drive, while based in your parents' teaching, is your own driving. Now imagine that you've been driving for at least 20 years and your instructor comes to you and laughs in your face about the way you drive. They tell you that the way they taught you was completely wrong. This is a person whose opinion you respect (or once did). This is a person who you thought was steering you down the right path. Now they tell you that blinkers are, in fact, optional? That passing on the left is only for suckers?
I know the analogy isn't perfect, but last night while on the phone with my father, he literally laughed at my faith. The faith that he instilled in me. Have I been driving on my own without a crash for quite some time? Absolutely. Do I still feel shaken by that fact that somehow this man who explained to me how the clutch worked and why it was important is now telling me to grind the gears? Umm, yeah!
I still have my faith. I love my faith. It is, and will forever be, a part of who I am. However, I feel just a tad tainted by the idea that the founder of my faith is now dropping cones hoping I crash.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The Great Wedding
My brother-in-law got married this weekend! Since no one reading this knows Chris, let me fill you in on the fact that this is a BIG deal. This is the brother who literally got goosebumps anytime someone would say the word commitment around him. I am so happy for him and his new wife, MyLe. But enough about them... let me tell you my side of the story.
We were supposed to leave for California on Thursday morning. Wednesday night, Thomas and Iris' pink eye came back. My mom, who would be watching the kids for the weekend wasn't worried about it, but I had no one to watch them during the day on Thursday as they could no longer go to school and I wasn't about to risk giving pink eye to any of my friends (I like to try to keep my friends happy). So, after much deliberation, it was decided I would stay home with the kids. Oddly, I was a little excited to have a weekend at home sans-Matt. It was kind of like when your parents go out of town when you were in high school. Party time! I had gone to the store to get provisions for the weekend and was ready to shut myself in the house for four days. At 5:30p.m., Matt calls me to inform me that he has me booked on a flight that leaves at 7:00 a.m. on Friday morning. What?? I was stress city for the rest of the night. I rushed through the house trying to get it cleaned and ready for my mom to come and stay there. Also, I had to repack my unpacked suitcase and take care of the kids... so you know, I had very little going on. Luckily, my fabulous friend Kyle had offered (been forced to volunteer) to take me to the airport in the morning, so he was there to help calm me in my stress induced panic. In the end, the kids were taken care of and I made it to the airport to be on my way to Santa Barbara.
After a ridiculously long day of travel, it was time to go straight to the rehearsal. I was tired. I hadn't eaten. I had a massive headache. I was far from being pleasant, to say the least. But I tried to put on a good face for Chris. He is one of the only people in that family that I actually like, so I'm trying to maintain his tolerance of me. The rehearsal dinner was at a winery. Did I mention that I hadn't eaten all day? Wine was not the best idea. I knew that. I tried to stay away, but temptation was too great. One glass turned into many, and by the time we were leaving, I was drinking straight from the bottle. Classy, right? I am amazed that I made it back to the hotel in one piece. I did have a mystery bump on my forehead the next morning, so I guess not entirely in one piece. All in all, the rehearsal was beautiful... what I can remember of it.
Why do I tell you of my drunken stupidity? Because you need to understand that when I woke up at 6:30 the next morning, my head was throbbing. More so from the bump I got than the wine, but still... throbbing. And no one is awake. And I'm bored. So I walked around the resort... for HOURS. I literally had nothing to do. While every other normal person was sleeping off their hangovers, I was walking off mine. At least it was a beautiful place to walk, right?
Finally, after a day of walking, it was time for the wedding. I am not a fancy person. I don't typically dress up. But I clean up good, don't you think? Matt doesn't look too bad either. The wedding was absolutely beautiful. I can't even describe how amazing it was to be on top of a cliff, over looking the ocean, at sunset. It was absolutely gorgeous. And cold! But I can forget about how freezing it was to remember how cute the bride and groom were as they said their vows. Oh, and I did keep checking out the best man... he was a total hottie. The only downside to the cold was that that cutie of a best man did get the rings stuck on his fingers. Luckily it was only for a moment before he was able to give them to the bride and groom. So, hooray! The wedding went perfectly... now it was time to party!
Have you ever watched those ridiculous weddings on TV where you say to yourself, "how much did all of that craziness cost?!" That was this wedding. There was a never ending flow of food, flowers, cake, and most importantly alcohol. The bride changed outfits three times. Each dress was more extravagant than the last. It was crazy. I now know that I've been sucking up to the right brother, though, if he's got that kind of money! Once again I drank so much that I couldn't remember the end of the evening. Really, I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near an open bar. All in all, it was a blast though, and I'm glad that I was able to catch a flight out there in time. The nicest thing said to me was from the groom: "Jaime, we were so sad when we thought you weren't coming to the wedding. You're more of family to me than some of my own family." Isn't he sweet? Of course we were both really drunk at that point, but I'll take the compliment anyway.
Fortunately, Sunday was relatively calm. More walking for me, because I really don't ever sit still. However, at the end of the day, I walked back to where the wedding had been the evening before and got to watch the most beautiful sunset. It was a peaceful end to a great weekend, so I will share it with you.
We were supposed to leave for California on Thursday morning. Wednesday night, Thomas and Iris' pink eye came back. My mom, who would be watching the kids for the weekend wasn't worried about it, but I had no one to watch them during the day on Thursday as they could no longer go to school and I wasn't about to risk giving pink eye to any of my friends (I like to try to keep my friends happy). So, after much deliberation, it was decided I would stay home with the kids. Oddly, I was a little excited to have a weekend at home sans-Matt. It was kind of like when your parents go out of town when you were in high school. Party time! I had gone to the store to get provisions for the weekend and was ready to shut myself in the house for four days. At 5:30p.m., Matt calls me to inform me that he has me booked on a flight that leaves at 7:00 a.m. on Friday morning. What?? I was stress city for the rest of the night. I rushed through the house trying to get it cleaned and ready for my mom to come and stay there. Also, I had to repack my unpacked suitcase and take care of the kids... so you know, I had very little going on. Luckily, my fabulous friend Kyle had offered (been forced to volunteer) to take me to the airport in the morning, so he was there to help calm me in my stress induced panic. In the end, the kids were taken care of and I made it to the airport to be on my way to Santa Barbara.
After a ridiculously long day of travel, it was time to go straight to the rehearsal. I was tired. I hadn't eaten. I had a massive headache. I was far from being pleasant, to say the least. But I tried to put on a good face for Chris. He is one of the only people in that family that I actually like, so I'm trying to maintain his tolerance of me. The rehearsal dinner was at a winery. Did I mention that I hadn't eaten all day? Wine was not the best idea. I knew that. I tried to stay away, but temptation was too great. One glass turned into many, and by the time we were leaving, I was drinking straight from the bottle. Classy, right? I am amazed that I made it back to the hotel in one piece. I did have a mystery bump on my forehead the next morning, so I guess not entirely in one piece. All in all, the rehearsal was beautiful... what I can remember of it.
Why do I tell you of my drunken stupidity? Because you need to understand that when I woke up at 6:30 the next morning, my head was throbbing. More so from the bump I got than the wine, but still... throbbing. And no one is awake. And I'm bored. So I walked around the resort... for HOURS. I literally had nothing to do. While every other normal person was sleeping off their hangovers, I was walking off mine. At least it was a beautiful place to walk, right?
Have you ever watched those ridiculous weddings on TV where you say to yourself, "how much did all of that craziness cost?!" That was this wedding. There was a never ending flow of food, flowers, cake, and most importantly alcohol. The bride changed outfits three times. Each dress was more extravagant than the last. It was crazy. I now know that I've been sucking up to the right brother, though, if he's got that kind of money! Once again I drank so much that I couldn't remember the end of the evening. Really, I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near an open bar. All in all, it was a blast though, and I'm glad that I was able to catch a flight out there in time. The nicest thing said to me was from the groom: "Jaime, we were so sad when we thought you weren't coming to the wedding. You're more of family to me than some of my own family." Isn't he sweet? Of course we were both really drunk at that point, but I'll take the compliment anyway.
Fortunately, Sunday was relatively calm. More walking for me, because I really don't ever sit still. However, at the end of the day, I walked back to where the wedding had been the evening before and got to watch the most beautiful sunset. It was a peaceful end to a great weekend, so I will share it with you.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
When good friends go bad
I try to be a patient person. I know it's not one of my strengths, but I work at it. However, twhen people try to take advantage of that patience, I kinda go a little Hulk-like. Let me share why I am starting to get a little green...
It's Tuesday night. I had late meetings at work. I'm exhausted. I made plans to relax at the house while drinking a few beers and doing nothing. It's one of my favorite ways to spend an evening. I was really looking forward to it. 5:00- my friend Katie texts me asking if I want to go out with her that night. I tried to pull the whole I'm too tired, but she was not thwarted. Finally she pulls the trump card: "you're going out of town and by the time you get back I'll have moved. This is our last time to hang out." Guilt much? So I agree to meet her for an hour or so at 6:30. 6:40 I'm sitting at the bar. Alone. I get a text. "Haven't left yet, waiting on Rebecca to get ready." Ummm, so I guess Rebecca is coming too? So much for our last chance to hang out together. 6:45 text from Katie "just left. Andrea should be there at 7:30." Ok, I guess this is turning into a party. Good thing I rearranged MY plans for YOU. Grr. 7:00 "Just got to JoAnn's. This is taking forever!" Why are you going to the fabric store when you were supposed to meet me half an hour ago?! 7:37 she and Rebecca (who despises me, by the way and did not say one word to me while there) finally arrive. They also let me know that they stopped at OfficeMax and Target along the way. Seriously? What kind of friend is this that leaves me sitting alone at a bar for over an hour? The good thing is that her delay allowed me to catch up with other friends via text message and make new friends while chatting with my waitress.
This brings us to today's story. I run a mommy group. I love my mommy group. I also have a lot of rules so that I don't get pissed off by the mommy group. For example: we have to have more than four members attending an event or the event gets canceled. Also, you cannot change your RSVP for an event within twelve hours of the event. These rules seem common sense to me. I put a lot of time and effort into this group. It's not worth my time if no one is going to show up. It's also quite rude if you cancel to anything last minute. I mean, would you expect a guy to call you back if you canceled a date thirty minutes before he was supposed to pick you up? If so, you must be really hot or delusional. Anyway, as of last night, we had ten people coming to the craft event today (we were having the kids make Thanksgiving cards). I really dislike craft events. They are stressful. I would have loved to cancel this event, but looking at last night's RSVPs I had no justification to do so. By the time I got up this morning, the list was down to seven. Ok, still not low enough to cancel. And I really wanted to cancel. Thomas was being a lunatic this morning. He had a tantrum at EVERYTHING. The last thing I wanted to do was get him in the car, shop for the craft supplies, get to our event, set up the craft, and deal with mommy group people. But I did. Our event was set to start at 10:30. At 10:00 (as I'm in the checkout line to buy the craft supplies) three more people canceled. Are you keeping track? Yeah, that puts us down to four members. I could have canceled the event! I couldn't now because it's 10:00! Most of the remaining people would have left their houses already. Arrrrgggghhhh! Oh, and meanwhile, Thomas is SCREAMING. The whole time. Ok, not the whole time. Every few minutes he would stop to slap his sister so that I could get them both screaming at once. I was in just a bit of a bad mood to say the least. So this is the email I sent to the group:
It's Tuesday night. I had late meetings at work. I'm exhausted. I made plans to relax at the house while drinking a few beers and doing nothing. It's one of my favorite ways to spend an evening. I was really looking forward to it. 5:00- my friend Katie texts me asking if I want to go out with her that night. I tried to pull the whole I'm too tired, but she was not thwarted. Finally she pulls the trump card: "you're going out of town and by the time you get back I'll have moved. This is our last time to hang out." Guilt much? So I agree to meet her for an hour or so at 6:30. 6:40 I'm sitting at the bar. Alone. I get a text. "Haven't left yet, waiting on Rebecca to get ready." Ummm, so I guess Rebecca is coming too? So much for our last chance to hang out together. 6:45 text from Katie "just left. Andrea should be there at 7:30." Ok, I guess this is turning into a party. Good thing I rearranged MY plans for YOU. Grr. 7:00 "Just got to JoAnn's. This is taking forever!" Why are you going to the fabric store when you were supposed to meet me half an hour ago?! 7:37 she and Rebecca (who despises me, by the way and did not say one word to me while there) finally arrive. They also let me know that they stopped at OfficeMax and Target along the way. Seriously? What kind of friend is this that leaves me sitting alone at a bar for over an hour? The good thing is that her delay allowed me to catch up with other friends via text message and make new friends while chatting with my waitress.
This brings us to today's story. I run a mommy group. I love my mommy group. I also have a lot of rules so that I don't get pissed off by the mommy group. For example: we have to have more than four members attending an event or the event gets canceled. Also, you cannot change your RSVP for an event within twelve hours of the event. These rules seem common sense to me. I put a lot of time and effort into this group. It's not worth my time if no one is going to show up. It's also quite rude if you cancel to anything last minute. I mean, would you expect a guy to call you back if you canceled a date thirty minutes before he was supposed to pick you up? If so, you must be really hot or delusional. Anyway, as of last night, we had ten people coming to the craft event today (we were having the kids make Thanksgiving cards). I really dislike craft events. They are stressful. I would have loved to cancel this event, but looking at last night's RSVPs I had no justification to do so. By the time I got up this morning, the list was down to seven. Ok, still not low enough to cancel. And I really wanted to cancel. Thomas was being a lunatic this morning. He had a tantrum at EVERYTHING. The last thing I wanted to do was get him in the car, shop for the craft supplies, get to our event, set up the craft, and deal with mommy group people. But I did. Our event was set to start at 10:30. At 10:00 (as I'm in the checkout line to buy the craft supplies) three more people canceled. Are you keeping track? Yeah, that puts us down to four members. I could have canceled the event! I couldn't now because it's 10:00! Most of the remaining people would have left their houses already. Arrrrgggghhhh! Oh, and meanwhile, Thomas is SCREAMING. The whole time. Ok, not the whole time. Every few minutes he would stop to slap his sister so that I could get them both screaming at once. I was in just a bit of a bad mood to say the least. So this is the email I sent to the group:
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Cheating is ok... as long as you don't get caught.
I love to play games. It's a total addiction for me. I also cheat at games. That isn't as much of an addiction as it is that I like to see how much I can get away with. If I play games with anyone, you can pretty much judge how intelligent I think my opponents are based on how subtly I cheat.
Every week for the past several months, my friends and I have been going to a weekly BINGO game. (I know, it sounds lame, but any game can be made more interesting with the right amount of alcohol.) Anyway, I think it was about the second week when I realized I really didn't have to have the called numbers on my card to be able to call "BINGO!" and have it accepted as a win. Seriously, sometimes there weren't even enough numbers called to have conceivably gotten a BINGO, and yet it still worked. Why? Because 1. I will flirt shamelessly to get what I want and 2. people playing BINGO at a bar on Thursday nights are not the brightest crowd.
BINGO became popular, and so our bar asked our BINGO caller to start hosting trivia immediately following the BINGO game. (Do you like how it's our bar... we really do often act like we own it. It's a little sad our sense of entitlement.) Did I mention that the prize for rounds of BINGO or trivia is beer? So, not only am I ultra competitive, but you offer a prize I actually want? Of course I'm going to cheat! At least once a game we turn in an answer that says "we have no idea, but give us the points anyway." And that works! I love our BINGO and trivia night. I realize we're only winners for the wrong reasons, but come on, it's not like we're competing in the Olympics.
Here's where the problem lies: sometimes I have to play other trivia games (mommy group obligations and all that). Do you see where I'm going? Yeah, I can't cheat with everyone! It's so frustrating! I need to come up with new ways to outsmart the system. Probably for the best though... I do love a new challenge! So, if anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears. Got to run for now though, it's time to rig the deck for pictionary tomorrow night!
Every week for the past several months, my friends and I have been going to a weekly BINGO game. (I know, it sounds lame, but any game can be made more interesting with the right amount of alcohol.) Anyway, I think it was about the second week when I realized I really didn't have to have the called numbers on my card to be able to call "BINGO!" and have it accepted as a win. Seriously, sometimes there weren't even enough numbers called to have conceivably gotten a BINGO, and yet it still worked. Why? Because 1. I will flirt shamelessly to get what I want and 2. people playing BINGO at a bar on Thursday nights are not the brightest crowd.
BINGO became popular, and so our bar asked our BINGO caller to start hosting trivia immediately following the BINGO game. (Do you like how it's our bar... we really do often act like we own it. It's a little sad our sense of entitlement.) Did I mention that the prize for rounds of BINGO or trivia is beer? So, not only am I ultra competitive, but you offer a prize I actually want? Of course I'm going to cheat! At least once a game we turn in an answer that says "we have no idea, but give us the points anyway." And that works! I love our BINGO and trivia night. I realize we're only winners for the wrong reasons, but come on, it's not like we're competing in the Olympics.
Here's where the problem lies: sometimes I have to play other trivia games (mommy group obligations and all that). Do you see where I'm going? Yeah, I can't cheat with everyone! It's so frustrating! I need to come up with new ways to outsmart the system. Probably for the best though... I do love a new challenge! So, if anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears. Got to run for now though, it's time to rig the deck for pictionary tomorrow night!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Shopping
Ok, let me start by saying, I HATE SHOPPING! It's exhausting. It's frustrating. I'd rather have a root canal than have to shop for clothes. So, when I realized that I have a wedding to go to as well as Matt's company Christmas party coming up in a few weeks, I frantically searched my closet for anything that fits. Unfortunately, I found nothing. I just don't really own clothes for special occasions like that. I'm a stay at home mom... what do I need a cocktail dress for?
So I had to shop. I figured this would take 2-3 hours tops. I was an idiot. First off, I was trying to be economical and buy one dress that would work for both occasions. Apparently, while this concept seems simple enough, it was the most complicated thing in the world. Any given dress was too fancy for one event, or not fancy enough for the other. Found one great dress then realized: you can't wear white to a wedding, duh! Next, and please don't start hating me now... this isn't my fault, but I'm size 00. While all the fashion magazines show off tiny models, very few stores actually carry that size. In fact, most shops don't even MAKE clothes in that size. Oh yeah, AND I have a two year old and a one year old... GREAT shopping partners!
So.... after 4 hours of online shopping, 3 hours in mall number one, and 4 1/2 hours in mall number 2, I was really about to lose it. I started writing angry texts to all my friends just to vent. Pretty sure I may get my number blocked by a few of them now. When I was just about to give up and go home to put shopping off for another day, I finally found a dress. Hooray! I wasted an entire day's worth of my life for one dress! The good thing is, it fits, it's cute, it works for both occasions, and it didn't break my bank. Here's a pic.
I had to use a catalog picture... I'm too exhausted to take a picture of myself.
So I had to shop. I figured this would take 2-3 hours tops. I was an idiot. First off, I was trying to be economical and buy one dress that would work for both occasions. Apparently, while this concept seems simple enough, it was the most complicated thing in the world. Any given dress was too fancy for one event, or not fancy enough for the other. Found one great dress then realized: you can't wear white to a wedding, duh! Next, and please don't start hating me now... this isn't my fault, but I'm size 00. While all the fashion magazines show off tiny models, very few stores actually carry that size. In fact, most shops don't even MAKE clothes in that size. Oh yeah, AND I have a two year old and a one year old... GREAT shopping partners!
So.... after 4 hours of online shopping, 3 hours in mall number one, and 4 1/2 hours in mall number 2, I was really about to lose it. I started writing angry texts to all my friends just to vent. Pretty sure I may get my number blocked by a few of them now. When I was just about to give up and go home to put shopping off for another day, I finally found a dress. Hooray! I wasted an entire day's worth of my life for one dress! The good thing is, it fits, it's cute, it works for both occasions, and it didn't break my bank. Here's a pic.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Letter to my boss
So this week, I finally decided to deal with all the frustrations I've been having at work. (So you know, I teach a one-year-old preschool class, and both of my children are in different classes there.) Here is the email I wrote to my boss:
"I wanted to tell you about some concerns that I'm having about Thomas' class. Sorry that this has to be in email, but there never seems to be an opportune time to discuss this with you at work.
First, let me begin by saying that I know that his teacher loves Thomas and is doing the best she can with him. I understand that he is a difficult child to deal with. I get frustrated with him too. However, many of my concerns go beyond his behavior. For example, he hasn't had an opportunity to go to the playground in a month. Each day during their playground time they go for a stroller ride rather than playing. To me, this is unacceptable. Kids need to play. I had no idea when I signed him up for this school that he would be denied that opportunity. Quite frankly, if I were sending Thomas to another school and that were the only concern on my list, it would be enough for me to be looking for another daycare right now. I honestly can't understand how this practice is allowed.
My next concern deals with the end of the day. I'm a little confused as to why I pick him up from another teacher's room. I typically pick him up by 1:40 at the latest. Why have they already been moved to another room? Thomas is clearly not handling this transition well as he is in time out almost every afternoon when I go to get him. The new teacher seems very unhappy with him. The entire pick up process is frustrating because I am immediately met by how 'bad' he's been. At the end of my day, any good feelings that I may have from work and what great things have gone on in my class have disappeared because I am met by how awful my child has been that day. It's to the point where I leave very frustrated every day. I honestly hate that. I am very saddened that I can't pick up my child and hear one good thing. If all I'm hearing is bad, what is Thomas hearing all day? I can't allow him to be in an environment where he is constantly made to feel bad about himself. Yes, he gets in trouble and there have to be consequences for that, but is that all that's ever focused on?
Lastly, I am struggling to understand his daily reports that are supposed to come home each day. I say supposed to because most days I don't get a report. Last week, Thomas hadn't pooped in 2 days. I really needed to know what he had done through the day so I could know if he was having stomach issues. I got no report. If I do get one, there are no comments except for his time outs. At the beginning of the school year, you came to me and asked me to make sure that I always have something positive to say on my sheets because parents are sensitive and want to hear something good so that they don't get upset. Even though I'm a teacher here, I'm a parent too. I have heard nothing positive yet.
If Thomas were in daycare someplace that I wasn't also a teacher, or even if he was in a class where I am not part of the team, I would discuss all this with his teacher first. However, I have been put in the awkward position of being coworkers with his teacher. I am trying to find a balance of doing what's best for my son while still maintaining a positive relationship with my team. I honestly don't know what is the right thing to do."
Am I wrong? Are my concerns just me being crazy mom? I am so paranoid about becoming 'that mom' that no teacher ever wants my kids in their class. I feel like I did the right thing by standing up for my kid, but I still have this nagging guilt about complaining at all. I especially feel like I'm being the crazy mom since that's pretty much how I was treated the next day at work. I had a meeting with my boss where I was told first that I was wrong, that they had gone to the playground... one day this month. Then I was told that I should have brought all of this stuff up before. I have. This is actually my third attempt to discuss my concerns with the school. The other two were blown off, which is why I decided this one needed to be in print. The final straw, however, was when I walked in on my boss reading my email to Thomas' teacher. Really? If I had wanted to email her, I could have. Argh!! I don't know if I'm more or less frustrated after all of this but at least I've said all I needed to say. What they do with it is their issue.
Ok, here's the positive: while I'm still learning, I am at least finally telling people how I feel. I may need to work on not feeling guilty about it, but baby steps, people! So this week was the best week ever, because I was able to complain to my boss.
"I wanted to tell you about some concerns that I'm having about Thomas' class. Sorry that this has to be in email, but there never seems to be an opportune time to discuss this with you at work.
First, let me begin by saying that I know that his teacher loves Thomas and is doing the best she can with him. I understand that he is a difficult child to deal with. I get frustrated with him too. However, many of my concerns go beyond his behavior. For example, he hasn't had an opportunity to go to the playground in a month. Each day during their playground time they go for a stroller ride rather than playing. To me, this is unacceptable. Kids need to play. I had no idea when I signed him up for this school that he would be denied that opportunity. Quite frankly, if I were sending Thomas to another school and that were the only concern on my list, it would be enough for me to be looking for another daycare right now. I honestly can't understand how this practice is allowed.
My next concern deals with the end of the day. I'm a little confused as to why I pick him up from another teacher's room. I typically pick him up by 1:40 at the latest. Why have they already been moved to another room? Thomas is clearly not handling this transition well as he is in time out almost every afternoon when I go to get him. The new teacher seems very unhappy with him. The entire pick up process is frustrating because I am immediately met by how 'bad' he's been. At the end of my day, any good feelings that I may have from work and what great things have gone on in my class have disappeared because I am met by how awful my child has been that day. It's to the point where I leave very frustrated every day. I honestly hate that. I am very saddened that I can't pick up my child and hear one good thing. If all I'm hearing is bad, what is Thomas hearing all day? I can't allow him to be in an environment where he is constantly made to feel bad about himself. Yes, he gets in trouble and there have to be consequences for that, but is that all that's ever focused on?
Lastly, I am struggling to understand his daily reports that are supposed to come home each day. I say supposed to because most days I don't get a report. Last week, Thomas hadn't pooped in 2 days. I really needed to know what he had done through the day so I could know if he was having stomach issues. I got no report. If I do get one, there are no comments except for his time outs. At the beginning of the school year, you came to me and asked me to make sure that I always have something positive to say on my sheets because parents are sensitive and want to hear something good so that they don't get upset. Even though I'm a teacher here, I'm a parent too. I have heard nothing positive yet.
If Thomas were in daycare someplace that I wasn't also a teacher, or even if he was in a class where I am not part of the team, I would discuss all this with his teacher first. However, I have been put in the awkward position of being coworkers with his teacher. I am trying to find a balance of doing what's best for my son while still maintaining a positive relationship with my team. I honestly don't know what is the right thing to do."
Am I wrong? Are my concerns just me being crazy mom? I am so paranoid about becoming 'that mom' that no teacher ever wants my kids in their class. I feel like I did the right thing by standing up for my kid, but I still have this nagging guilt about complaining at all. I especially feel like I'm being the crazy mom since that's pretty much how I was treated the next day at work. I had a meeting with my boss where I was told first that I was wrong, that they had gone to the playground... one day this month. Then I was told that I should have brought all of this stuff up before. I have. This is actually my third attempt to discuss my concerns with the school. The other two were blown off, which is why I decided this one needed to be in print. The final straw, however, was when I walked in on my boss reading my email to Thomas' teacher. Really? If I had wanted to email her, I could have. Argh!! I don't know if I'm more or less frustrated after all of this but at least I've said all I needed to say. What they do with it is their issue.
Ok, here's the positive: while I'm still learning, I am at least finally telling people how I feel. I may need to work on not feeling guilty about it, but baby steps, people! So this week was the best week ever, because I was able to complain to my boss.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Halloween Party!!!
Ok, if you know me at all, you know that Halloween is my favorite holiday. Seriously, what's not to like? You're not obligated to spend it with family. You don't have to shop for presents. You don't have to cook a ridiculous meal. There's no travel involved. You don't have to pretend like you care about some event that happened however many years ago. It's singular purpose is having a good time. And when it comes to my parties, I always have a good time!
I spent two weeks decorating. I know that sounds like a lot of time, but I do have a 2 and a 1 year old. I only get about 20 minutes of free time a day to decorate! I think the house looked pretty good when it was all finished:
Then there was the food. Again, I have two crazy kids, so I knew planning was key. I made one item a day for a week. Let me tell you, that I made any food at all should make everyone scared. I DON'T COOK. I shouldn't be allowed to cook. So, all of my food contained four or less ingredients. How bad could I mess that up?
Monster feet cookies, peanut butter eyeballs, bone sandwiches, cheese fingers, caramel corn trail mix... yum! All failed to live up to Sara's amazing chocolate ganache cake, complete with orange spider.
Ok, so all the preparations were done... and Saturday dragged on FOREVERRR! Luckily, I had wonderful help (Thanks Matt, Sara, and Mike!) And we could finally get our party on!
Aren't we cute? The party was awesome (if I do say so myself). And it went off without much incident. As one would expect, the woman wearing the least amount of clothing won best costume.
Although, personally I think it should have been this guy:
I mean, really... if you've got the confidence to show up in drag and admit that your mama dressed you, you deserve to win something!
The rest of the night is mostly a blur of beer pong, jell-o shots, and really odd photos. I looked through my camera the next morning to find many pictures of boobs... none of which were mine and none of which I took, so...
Luckily, Sara (/Mike) got a good photo of the whole mommy crew.
All in all it was a fabulous party... I mean it has to be when you end up wearing someone else's shoes, right?!?
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Make love, not war
This week I joined Twitter and am still slowly trying to figure it all out. I mean, I understand the basic principles of the thing, I just don't really know how to use it in a practical sense for my life. I have 'met' many new friends and connected with some old ones. I have found new sites to visit and new blogs to read. The blogs are where I started to struggle... Through many of my readings, I have found so much sadness. People who are dealing with the loss of a loved one, people who are being tormented because of their lifestyle or beliefs, people who are just plain mean for no comprehensible reason. Between the blog posts, twitter, facebook, and the news, my heart began to ache. Then I remembered, it's supposed to be the best week ever. And it is the best week ever. I know to people who are dealing with pains, this sounds so trivial, but just go with it until I reach my point.
My son turned 2 this week. When he is grown, will I tell him about the off-color jokes that were made about the Chilean miners rescue, or will I tell him about how people came together to save lives? Will I tell him about the ignorant gay bashing, or of how proud I was of the friends who had the courage to come out this week. Will I tell him of the meanness, or of the love?
I pray daily for a future where all people can live without fear. I hope for a time when ignorance is trumped by intelligence and intolerance is trumped bytolerance LOVE. I am not naive enough to think that people will start changing overnight. However, I am going to do my part. I am going to teach my children to love. I am going to teach my children that it's not about right or wrong. It's about loving and loving well.
Ok, I said I would get to the point and this is it: I don't know with 100% certainty that I will be able to take back anger tomorrow. I can't fully say that I can put off teaching my child about love because tomorrow will be better. I can't control any of that. I also can't control the meanness in others. I can't make the world start acting with kindness. I can't take away other people's pain. What I can control is my attitude. What I can change is the way my children view others. I can make sure that my life keeps them from perpetuating this system of hatred towards others. I can make this week the best week ever, because I want my children to have the best week of their lives EVERY week. And, while I cannot guarantee that every week will be perfect, I can work like hell to make it the best for them.
This week is the best week ever because when my son grows up, I can tell him the week he turned 2 was a week we chose to focus on love. It is the week I made the conscious decision to not only to try to keep him from harm, but also to do my best to teach him not to harm others.
(I promise, not all weeks will be this heavy, but it was what was on my heart... next week: Halloween party!)
My son turned 2 this week. When he is grown, will I tell him about the off-color jokes that were made about the Chilean miners rescue, or will I tell him about how people came together to save lives? Will I tell him about the ignorant gay bashing, or of how proud I was of the friends who had the courage to come out this week. Will I tell him of the meanness, or of the love?
I pray daily for a future where all people can live without fear. I hope for a time when ignorance is trumped by intelligence and intolerance is trumped by
Ok, I said I would get to the point and this is it: I don't know with 100% certainty that I will be able to take back anger tomorrow. I can't fully say that I can put off teaching my child about love because tomorrow will be better. I can't control any of that. I also can't control the meanness in others. I can't make the world start acting with kindness. I can't take away other people's pain. What I can control is my attitude. What I can change is the way my children view others. I can make sure that my life keeps them from perpetuating this system of hatred towards others. I can make this week the best week ever, because I want my children to have the best week of their lives EVERY week. And, while I cannot guarantee that every week will be perfect, I can work like hell to make it the best for them.
This week is the best week ever because when my son grows up, I can tell him the week he turned 2 was a week we chose to focus on love. It is the week I made the conscious decision to not only to try to keep him from harm, but also to do my best to teach him not to harm others.
(I promise, not all weeks will be this heavy, but it was what was on my heart... next week: Halloween party!)
Friday, October 8, 2010
And so it begins
Several weeks ago... wait I have to go further back than that. A little less than a year ago, I started a moms group. I had no idea how this group would change my life. As a new mom, I was desperate for friends. It’s amazing how as soon as you have kids, so many of your former friends just disappear. Not that it was any one's fault but my own, it just happened. I was no longer working, so my whole social strata just disappeared. Luckily, the moms I found in my new group are fabulous. In truth, when I started in the mommy group endeavor, I was scared. I know what I had in my head for the typical stay-at-home mom, and I knew that I would have nothing in common with that woman. I love my kids, but they aren’t my whole world. I wanted to find women that would be of that same mind. I wanted to find women with whom I could have a drink or two (or three or four). I wanted to find women that would NEVER own a pair of “mom jeans.” I wanted to find women that could laugh with me rather than give me advice on how to fix it when Thomas yells obscenities due to mispronunciations of the word truck. In these women, I got better than I could have ever hoped for.
One of these amazing women writes a blog (Sara Plays House). She is constantly trying to get others to write blogs as well. I don’t think she understands that none of us will ever be able to be as awesome as she is. Actually, strike that. Knowing Sara, she already knows it. Regardless, I balked at the idea of ever writing a blog. This brings us to a few weeks ago...
My fabulous friends were throwing me a party on Saturday. I was getting my 2nd tattoo on Wednesday. One of my favorite cousins was coming for a whole week visit. We had several awesome play dates planned for the kids. My brother was turning 30. All sorts of fantastic things were happening. So the week was dubbed "Best Week Ever." It is amazing how positive thinking can make or break you. That week really was a fantastic week from start to finish. Not that I didn't have my share of frustrations. On one of the days, I ran out of gas on the way in to work, and while I was waiting for my superman to come save me, Iris had a total melt-down and Thomas threw up all over the back seat. However, knowing it was the best week ever made me see the positive in it all. My exact facebook post for the day: "Best week ever, day 3: Ran out of gas today which made me learn three things: 1. My gas gauge doesn't work (one more reason for a new car) 2. I work with the most amazing, understanding, and caring women! 3. I have an awesome husband that always bails me out of crazy situations. (ok, I already knew that last one, but it bears repeating!) It's incredible how great life is!!"
After, quite simply, the best birthday party anyone has ever thrown for me, I thought: why should I ever come down from this high? Seriously, I live a great life. I’m not trying to sound like I’m bragging, but I am blessed with a fantastic life. Yes, crap happens that is frustrating, hurtful, and sad, but if I had a giant life scale that weighed the good against the bad it would look like Chris Farley and Nicole Richie on a teeter-totter.
So, between Sara nagging about a blog, and my realization that I should record all of this awesomeness, Jaime’s Best Week Ever was born. Now you know why this week, and every week, will forever be my best week ever. Because quite simply and very cliche, life is short. I’m gonna enjoy it.
Sara, Me, Jessica
You know it's a good party when twirling dresses are involved.
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