Let me preface this by saying that when I started blogging, it was my intention to stay away from two topics because they are often hot button issues for me: my father and my faith. I will now steer headfirst into both.
Growing up, my family was what you would probably consider the typical Christian family. Well, maybe more than that. My dad was a pastor when I was born, but left the ministry by the time I was five. So, needless to say, I had a bit of a better understanding of Christianity than the typical Sunday church goer. However, as I grew up, I took the teachings of my parents and developed my own faith. I read, took classes and made my own decisions. While I won't go off on that diatribe now, the people who have heard it will mostly tell you that my faith is not of that of a typical Christian though still falls in line with the basic teachings of the Bible.
Recently, my father went bat-shit crazy. That is quite possibly the nicest way to put it. He has left his marriage of 35 years. He has disowned his son. He is living with some new family. He refuses to speak to any of his brothers. I could go on and on about the out of character things my father has done, but perhaps I'll save that for another blog. I think the one thing that has affected me the most is the fact that he now says he is agnostic. Most people don't understand why THIS is the factor I'm concentrating on. I've tried to come up with an analogy so that perhaps I can give clarity as to why his loss of faith has been one of the biggest life changers for me:
Most kids learn how to drive from their parents. They teach the rules of the road plus general driving techniques. As you grow as a driver, you get comfortable with the way the road feels and learn to make choices of your own until they way you drive, while based in your parents' teaching, is your own driving. Now imagine that you've been driving for at least 20 years and your instructor comes to you and laughs in your face about the way you drive. They tell you that the way they taught you was completely wrong. This is a person whose opinion you respect (or once did). This is a person who you thought was steering you down the right path. Now they tell you that blinkers are, in fact, optional? That passing on the left is only for suckers?
I know the analogy isn't perfect, but last night while on the phone with my father, he literally laughed at my faith. The faith that he instilled in me. Have I been driving on my own without a crash for quite some time? Absolutely. Do I still feel shaken by that fact that somehow this man who explained to me how the clutch worked and why it was important is now telling me to grind the gears? Umm, yeah!
I still have my faith. I love my faith. It is, and will forever be, a part of who I am. However, I feel just a tad tainted by the idea that the founder of my faith is now dropping cones hoping I crash.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The Great Wedding
My brother-in-law got married this weekend! Since no one reading this knows Chris, let me fill you in on the fact that this is a BIG deal. This is the brother who literally got goosebumps anytime someone would say the word commitment around him. I am so happy for him and his new wife, MyLe. But enough about them... let me tell you my side of the story.
We were supposed to leave for California on Thursday morning. Wednesday night, Thomas and Iris' pink eye came back. My mom, who would be watching the kids for the weekend wasn't worried about it, but I had no one to watch them during the day on Thursday as they could no longer go to school and I wasn't about to risk giving pink eye to any of my friends (I like to try to keep my friends happy). So, after much deliberation, it was decided I would stay home with the kids. Oddly, I was a little excited to have a weekend at home sans-Matt. It was kind of like when your parents go out of town when you were in high school. Party time! I had gone to the store to get provisions for the weekend and was ready to shut myself in the house for four days. At 5:30p.m., Matt calls me to inform me that he has me booked on a flight that leaves at 7:00 a.m. on Friday morning. What?? I was stress city for the rest of the night. I rushed through the house trying to get it cleaned and ready for my mom to come and stay there. Also, I had to repack my unpacked suitcase and take care of the kids... so you know, I had very little going on. Luckily, my fabulous friend Kyle had offered (been forced to volunteer) to take me to the airport in the morning, so he was there to help calm me in my stress induced panic. In the end, the kids were taken care of and I made it to the airport to be on my way to Santa Barbara.
After a ridiculously long day of travel, it was time to go straight to the rehearsal. I was tired. I hadn't eaten. I had a massive headache. I was far from being pleasant, to say the least. But I tried to put on a good face for Chris. He is one of the only people in that family that I actually like, so I'm trying to maintain his tolerance of me. The rehearsal dinner was at a winery. Did I mention that I hadn't eaten all day? Wine was not the best idea. I knew that. I tried to stay away, but temptation was too great. One glass turned into many, and by the time we were leaving, I was drinking straight from the bottle. Classy, right? I am amazed that I made it back to the hotel in one piece. I did have a mystery bump on my forehead the next morning, so I guess not entirely in one piece. All in all, the rehearsal was beautiful... what I can remember of it.
Why do I tell you of my drunken stupidity? Because you need to understand that when I woke up at 6:30 the next morning, my head was throbbing. More so from the bump I got than the wine, but still... throbbing. And no one is awake. And I'm bored. So I walked around the resort... for HOURS. I literally had nothing to do. While every other normal person was sleeping off their hangovers, I was walking off mine. At least it was a beautiful place to walk, right?
Finally, after a day of walking, it was time for the wedding. I am not a fancy person. I don't typically dress up. But I clean up good, don't you think? Matt doesn't look too bad either. The wedding was absolutely beautiful. I can't even describe how amazing it was to be on top of a cliff, over looking the ocean, at sunset. It was absolutely gorgeous. And cold! But I can forget about how freezing it was to remember how cute the bride and groom were as they said their vows. Oh, and I did keep checking out the best man... he was a total hottie. The only downside to the cold was that that cutie of a best man did get the rings stuck on his fingers. Luckily it was only for a moment before he was able to give them to the bride and groom. So, hooray! The wedding went perfectly... now it was time to party!
Have you ever watched those ridiculous weddings on TV where you say to yourself, "how much did all of that craziness cost?!" That was this wedding. There was a never ending flow of food, flowers, cake, and most importantly alcohol. The bride changed outfits three times. Each dress was more extravagant than the last. It was crazy. I now know that I've been sucking up to the right brother, though, if he's got that kind of money! Once again I drank so much that I couldn't remember the end of the evening. Really, I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near an open bar. All in all, it was a blast though, and I'm glad that I was able to catch a flight out there in time. The nicest thing said to me was from the groom: "Jaime, we were so sad when we thought you weren't coming to the wedding. You're more of family to me than some of my own family." Isn't he sweet? Of course we were both really drunk at that point, but I'll take the compliment anyway.
Fortunately, Sunday was relatively calm. More walking for me, because I really don't ever sit still. However, at the end of the day, I walked back to where the wedding had been the evening before and got to watch the most beautiful sunset. It was a peaceful end to a great weekend, so I will share it with you.
We were supposed to leave for California on Thursday morning. Wednesday night, Thomas and Iris' pink eye came back. My mom, who would be watching the kids for the weekend wasn't worried about it, but I had no one to watch them during the day on Thursday as they could no longer go to school and I wasn't about to risk giving pink eye to any of my friends (I like to try to keep my friends happy). So, after much deliberation, it was decided I would stay home with the kids. Oddly, I was a little excited to have a weekend at home sans-Matt. It was kind of like when your parents go out of town when you were in high school. Party time! I had gone to the store to get provisions for the weekend and was ready to shut myself in the house for four days. At 5:30p.m., Matt calls me to inform me that he has me booked on a flight that leaves at 7:00 a.m. on Friday morning. What?? I was stress city for the rest of the night. I rushed through the house trying to get it cleaned and ready for my mom to come and stay there. Also, I had to repack my unpacked suitcase and take care of the kids... so you know, I had very little going on. Luckily, my fabulous friend Kyle had offered (been forced to volunteer) to take me to the airport in the morning, so he was there to help calm me in my stress induced panic. In the end, the kids were taken care of and I made it to the airport to be on my way to Santa Barbara.
After a ridiculously long day of travel, it was time to go straight to the rehearsal. I was tired. I hadn't eaten. I had a massive headache. I was far from being pleasant, to say the least. But I tried to put on a good face for Chris. He is one of the only people in that family that I actually like, so I'm trying to maintain his tolerance of me. The rehearsal dinner was at a winery. Did I mention that I hadn't eaten all day? Wine was not the best idea. I knew that. I tried to stay away, but temptation was too great. One glass turned into many, and by the time we were leaving, I was drinking straight from the bottle. Classy, right? I am amazed that I made it back to the hotel in one piece. I did have a mystery bump on my forehead the next morning, so I guess not entirely in one piece. All in all, the rehearsal was beautiful... what I can remember of it.
Why do I tell you of my drunken stupidity? Because you need to understand that when I woke up at 6:30 the next morning, my head was throbbing. More so from the bump I got than the wine, but still... throbbing. And no one is awake. And I'm bored. So I walked around the resort... for HOURS. I literally had nothing to do. While every other normal person was sleeping off their hangovers, I was walking off mine. At least it was a beautiful place to walk, right?
Have you ever watched those ridiculous weddings on TV where you say to yourself, "how much did all of that craziness cost?!" That was this wedding. There was a never ending flow of food, flowers, cake, and most importantly alcohol. The bride changed outfits three times. Each dress was more extravagant than the last. It was crazy. I now know that I've been sucking up to the right brother, though, if he's got that kind of money! Once again I drank so much that I couldn't remember the end of the evening. Really, I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near an open bar. All in all, it was a blast though, and I'm glad that I was able to catch a flight out there in time. The nicest thing said to me was from the groom: "Jaime, we were so sad when we thought you weren't coming to the wedding. You're more of family to me than some of my own family." Isn't he sweet? Of course we were both really drunk at that point, but I'll take the compliment anyway.
Fortunately, Sunday was relatively calm. More walking for me, because I really don't ever sit still. However, at the end of the day, I walked back to where the wedding had been the evening before and got to watch the most beautiful sunset. It was a peaceful end to a great weekend, so I will share it with you.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
When good friends go bad
I try to be a patient person. I know it's not one of my strengths, but I work at it. However, twhen people try to take advantage of that patience, I kinda go a little Hulk-like. Let me share why I am starting to get a little green...
It's Tuesday night. I had late meetings at work. I'm exhausted. I made plans to relax at the house while drinking a few beers and doing nothing. It's one of my favorite ways to spend an evening. I was really looking forward to it. 5:00- my friend Katie texts me asking if I want to go out with her that night. I tried to pull the whole I'm too tired, but she was not thwarted. Finally she pulls the trump card: "you're going out of town and by the time you get back I'll have moved. This is our last time to hang out." Guilt much? So I agree to meet her for an hour or so at 6:30. 6:40 I'm sitting at the bar. Alone. I get a text. "Haven't left yet, waiting on Rebecca to get ready." Ummm, so I guess Rebecca is coming too? So much for our last chance to hang out together. 6:45 text from Katie "just left. Andrea should be there at 7:30." Ok, I guess this is turning into a party. Good thing I rearranged MY plans for YOU. Grr. 7:00 "Just got to JoAnn's. This is taking forever!" Why are you going to the fabric store when you were supposed to meet me half an hour ago?! 7:37 she and Rebecca (who despises me, by the way and did not say one word to me while there) finally arrive. They also let me know that they stopped at OfficeMax and Target along the way. Seriously? What kind of friend is this that leaves me sitting alone at a bar for over an hour? The good thing is that her delay allowed me to catch up with other friends via text message and make new friends while chatting with my waitress.
This brings us to today's story. I run a mommy group. I love my mommy group. I also have a lot of rules so that I don't get pissed off by the mommy group. For example: we have to have more than four members attending an event or the event gets canceled. Also, you cannot change your RSVP for an event within twelve hours of the event. These rules seem common sense to me. I put a lot of time and effort into this group. It's not worth my time if no one is going to show up. It's also quite rude if you cancel to anything last minute. I mean, would you expect a guy to call you back if you canceled a date thirty minutes before he was supposed to pick you up? If so, you must be really hot or delusional. Anyway, as of last night, we had ten people coming to the craft event today (we were having the kids make Thanksgiving cards). I really dislike craft events. They are stressful. I would have loved to cancel this event, but looking at last night's RSVPs I had no justification to do so. By the time I got up this morning, the list was down to seven. Ok, still not low enough to cancel. And I really wanted to cancel. Thomas was being a lunatic this morning. He had a tantrum at EVERYTHING. The last thing I wanted to do was get him in the car, shop for the craft supplies, get to our event, set up the craft, and deal with mommy group people. But I did. Our event was set to start at 10:30. At 10:00 (as I'm in the checkout line to buy the craft supplies) three more people canceled. Are you keeping track? Yeah, that puts us down to four members. I could have canceled the event! I couldn't now because it's 10:00! Most of the remaining people would have left their houses already. Arrrrgggghhhh! Oh, and meanwhile, Thomas is SCREAMING. The whole time. Ok, not the whole time. Every few minutes he would stop to slap his sister so that I could get them both screaming at once. I was in just a bit of a bad mood to say the least. So this is the email I sent to the group:
It's Tuesday night. I had late meetings at work. I'm exhausted. I made plans to relax at the house while drinking a few beers and doing nothing. It's one of my favorite ways to spend an evening. I was really looking forward to it. 5:00- my friend Katie texts me asking if I want to go out with her that night. I tried to pull the whole I'm too tired, but she was not thwarted. Finally she pulls the trump card: "you're going out of town and by the time you get back I'll have moved. This is our last time to hang out." Guilt much? So I agree to meet her for an hour or so at 6:30. 6:40 I'm sitting at the bar. Alone. I get a text. "Haven't left yet, waiting on Rebecca to get ready." Ummm, so I guess Rebecca is coming too? So much for our last chance to hang out together. 6:45 text from Katie "just left. Andrea should be there at 7:30." Ok, I guess this is turning into a party. Good thing I rearranged MY plans for YOU. Grr. 7:00 "Just got to JoAnn's. This is taking forever!" Why are you going to the fabric store when you were supposed to meet me half an hour ago?! 7:37 she and Rebecca (who despises me, by the way and did not say one word to me while there) finally arrive. They also let me know that they stopped at OfficeMax and Target along the way. Seriously? What kind of friend is this that leaves me sitting alone at a bar for over an hour? The good thing is that her delay allowed me to catch up with other friends via text message and make new friends while chatting with my waitress.
This brings us to today's story. I run a mommy group. I love my mommy group. I also have a lot of rules so that I don't get pissed off by the mommy group. For example: we have to have more than four members attending an event or the event gets canceled. Also, you cannot change your RSVP for an event within twelve hours of the event. These rules seem common sense to me. I put a lot of time and effort into this group. It's not worth my time if no one is going to show up. It's also quite rude if you cancel to anything last minute. I mean, would you expect a guy to call you back if you canceled a date thirty minutes before he was supposed to pick you up? If so, you must be really hot or delusional. Anyway, as of last night, we had ten people coming to the craft event today (we were having the kids make Thanksgiving cards). I really dislike craft events. They are stressful. I would have loved to cancel this event, but looking at last night's RSVPs I had no justification to do so. By the time I got up this morning, the list was down to seven. Ok, still not low enough to cancel. And I really wanted to cancel. Thomas was being a lunatic this morning. He had a tantrum at EVERYTHING. The last thing I wanted to do was get him in the car, shop for the craft supplies, get to our event, set up the craft, and deal with mommy group people. But I did. Our event was set to start at 10:30. At 10:00 (as I'm in the checkout line to buy the craft supplies) three more people canceled. Are you keeping track? Yeah, that puts us down to four members. I could have canceled the event! I couldn't now because it's 10:00! Most of the remaining people would have left their houses already. Arrrrgggghhhh! Oh, and meanwhile, Thomas is SCREAMING. The whole time. Ok, not the whole time. Every few minutes he would stop to slap his sister so that I could get them both screaming at once. I was in just a bit of a bad mood to say the least. So this is the email I sent to the group:
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Cheating is ok... as long as you don't get caught.
I love to play games. It's a total addiction for me. I also cheat at games. That isn't as much of an addiction as it is that I like to see how much I can get away with. If I play games with anyone, you can pretty much judge how intelligent I think my opponents are based on how subtly I cheat.
Every week for the past several months, my friends and I have been going to a weekly BINGO game. (I know, it sounds lame, but any game can be made more interesting with the right amount of alcohol.) Anyway, I think it was about the second week when I realized I really didn't have to have the called numbers on my card to be able to call "BINGO!" and have it accepted as a win. Seriously, sometimes there weren't even enough numbers called to have conceivably gotten a BINGO, and yet it still worked. Why? Because 1. I will flirt shamelessly to get what I want and 2. people playing BINGO at a bar on Thursday nights are not the brightest crowd.
BINGO became popular, and so our bar asked our BINGO caller to start hosting trivia immediately following the BINGO game. (Do you like how it's our bar... we really do often act like we own it. It's a little sad our sense of entitlement.) Did I mention that the prize for rounds of BINGO or trivia is beer? So, not only am I ultra competitive, but you offer a prize I actually want? Of course I'm going to cheat! At least once a game we turn in an answer that says "we have no idea, but give us the points anyway." And that works! I love our BINGO and trivia night. I realize we're only winners for the wrong reasons, but come on, it's not like we're competing in the Olympics.
Here's where the problem lies: sometimes I have to play other trivia games (mommy group obligations and all that). Do you see where I'm going? Yeah, I can't cheat with everyone! It's so frustrating! I need to come up with new ways to outsmart the system. Probably for the best though... I do love a new challenge! So, if anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears. Got to run for now though, it's time to rig the deck for pictionary tomorrow night!
Every week for the past several months, my friends and I have been going to a weekly BINGO game. (I know, it sounds lame, but any game can be made more interesting with the right amount of alcohol.) Anyway, I think it was about the second week when I realized I really didn't have to have the called numbers on my card to be able to call "BINGO!" and have it accepted as a win. Seriously, sometimes there weren't even enough numbers called to have conceivably gotten a BINGO, and yet it still worked. Why? Because 1. I will flirt shamelessly to get what I want and 2. people playing BINGO at a bar on Thursday nights are not the brightest crowd.
BINGO became popular, and so our bar asked our BINGO caller to start hosting trivia immediately following the BINGO game. (Do you like how it's our bar... we really do often act like we own it. It's a little sad our sense of entitlement.) Did I mention that the prize for rounds of BINGO or trivia is beer? So, not only am I ultra competitive, but you offer a prize I actually want? Of course I'm going to cheat! At least once a game we turn in an answer that says "we have no idea, but give us the points anyway." And that works! I love our BINGO and trivia night. I realize we're only winners for the wrong reasons, but come on, it's not like we're competing in the Olympics.
Here's where the problem lies: sometimes I have to play other trivia games (mommy group obligations and all that). Do you see where I'm going? Yeah, I can't cheat with everyone! It's so frustrating! I need to come up with new ways to outsmart the system. Probably for the best though... I do love a new challenge! So, if anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears. Got to run for now though, it's time to rig the deck for pictionary tomorrow night!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Shopping
Ok, let me start by saying, I HATE SHOPPING! It's exhausting. It's frustrating. I'd rather have a root canal than have to shop for clothes. So, when I realized that I have a wedding to go to as well as Matt's company Christmas party coming up in a few weeks, I frantically searched my closet for anything that fits. Unfortunately, I found nothing. I just don't really own clothes for special occasions like that. I'm a stay at home mom... what do I need a cocktail dress for?
So I had to shop. I figured this would take 2-3 hours tops. I was an idiot. First off, I was trying to be economical and buy one dress that would work for both occasions. Apparently, while this concept seems simple enough, it was the most complicated thing in the world. Any given dress was too fancy for one event, or not fancy enough for the other. Found one great dress then realized: you can't wear white to a wedding, duh! Next, and please don't start hating me now... this isn't my fault, but I'm size 00. While all the fashion magazines show off tiny models, very few stores actually carry that size. In fact, most shops don't even MAKE clothes in that size. Oh yeah, AND I have a two year old and a one year old... GREAT shopping partners!
So.... after 4 hours of online shopping, 3 hours in mall number one, and 4 1/2 hours in mall number 2, I was really about to lose it. I started writing angry texts to all my friends just to vent. Pretty sure I may get my number blocked by a few of them now. When I was just about to give up and go home to put shopping off for another day, I finally found a dress. Hooray! I wasted an entire day's worth of my life for one dress! The good thing is, it fits, it's cute, it works for both occasions, and it didn't break my bank. Here's a pic.
I had to use a catalog picture... I'm too exhausted to take a picture of myself.
So I had to shop. I figured this would take 2-3 hours tops. I was an idiot. First off, I was trying to be economical and buy one dress that would work for both occasions. Apparently, while this concept seems simple enough, it was the most complicated thing in the world. Any given dress was too fancy for one event, or not fancy enough for the other. Found one great dress then realized: you can't wear white to a wedding, duh! Next, and please don't start hating me now... this isn't my fault, but I'm size 00. While all the fashion magazines show off tiny models, very few stores actually carry that size. In fact, most shops don't even MAKE clothes in that size. Oh yeah, AND I have a two year old and a one year old... GREAT shopping partners!
So.... after 4 hours of online shopping, 3 hours in mall number one, and 4 1/2 hours in mall number 2, I was really about to lose it. I started writing angry texts to all my friends just to vent. Pretty sure I may get my number blocked by a few of them now. When I was just about to give up and go home to put shopping off for another day, I finally found a dress. Hooray! I wasted an entire day's worth of my life for one dress! The good thing is, it fits, it's cute, it works for both occasions, and it didn't break my bank. Here's a pic.
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