Letter to my boss

So this week, I finally decided to deal with all the frustrations I've been having at work. (So you know, I teach a one-year-old preschool class, and both of my children are in different classes there.) Here is the email I wrote to my boss:

"I wanted to tell you about some concerns that I'm having about Thomas' class.  Sorry that this has to be in email, but there never seems to be an opportune time to discuss this with you at work.

First, let me begin by saying that I know that his teacher loves Thomas and is doing the best she can with him.  I understand that he is a difficult child to deal with.  I get frustrated with him too.  However, many of my concerns go beyond his behavior. For example, he hasn't had an opportunity to go to the playground in a month. Each day during their playground time they go for a stroller ride rather than playing.  To me, this is unacceptable.  Kids need to play.  I had no idea when I signed him up for this school that he would be denied that opportunity. Quite frankly, if I were sending Thomas to another school and that were the only concern on my list, it would be enough for me to be looking for another daycare right now.  I honestly can't understand how this practice is allowed.

My next concern deals with the end of the day.  I'm a little confused as to why I pick him up from another teacher's room.  I typically pick him up by 1:40 at the latest.  Why have they already been moved to another room?  Thomas is clearly not handling this transition well as he is in time out almost every afternoon when I go to get him.  The new teacher seems very unhappy with him.  The entire pick up process is frustrating because I am immediately met by how 'bad' he's been.  At the end of my day, any good feelings that I may have from work and what great things have gone on in my class have disappeared because I am met by how awful my child has been that day.  It's to the point where I leave very frustrated every day.  I honestly hate that.  I am very saddened that I can't pick up my child and hear one good thing.  If all I'm hearing is bad, what is Thomas hearing all day? I can't allow him to be in an environment where he is constantly made to feel bad about himself.  Yes, he gets in trouble and there have to be consequences for that, but is that all that's ever focused on?

Lastly, I am struggling to understand his daily reports that are supposed to come home each day.  I say supposed to because most days I don't get a report.  Last week, Thomas hadn't pooped in 2 days.  I really needed to know what he had done through the day so I could know if he was having stomach issues. I got no report. If I do get one, there are no comments except for his time outs. At the beginning of the school year, you came to me and asked me to make sure that I always have something positive to say on my sheets because parents are sensitive and want to hear something good so that they don't get upset.  Even though I'm a teacher here, I'm a parent too.  I have heard nothing positive yet.

If Thomas were in daycare someplace that I wasn't also a teacher, or even if he was in a class where I am not part of the team, I would discuss all this with his teacher first.  However, I have been put in the awkward position of being coworkers with his teacher.  I am trying to find a balance of doing what's best for my son while still maintaining a positive relationship with my team. I honestly don't know what is the right thing to do."

Am I wrong? Are my concerns just me being crazy mom? I am so paranoid about becoming 'that mom' that no teacher ever wants my kids in their class. I feel like I did the right thing by standing up for my kid, but I still have this nagging guilt about complaining at all. I especially feel like I'm being the crazy mom since that's pretty much how I was treated the next day at work. I had a meeting with my boss where I was told first that I was wrong, that they had gone to the playground... one day this month. Then I was told that I should have brought all of this stuff up before.  I have.  This is actually my third attempt to discuss my concerns with the school. The other two were blown off, which is why I decided this one needed to be in print. The final straw, however, was when I walked in on my boss reading my email to Thomas' teacher. Really? If I had wanted to email her, I could have.  Argh!! I don't know if I'm more or less frustrated after all of this but at least I've said all I needed to say.  What they do with it is their issue.

Ok, here's the positive: while I'm still learning, I am at least finally telling people how I feel. I may need to work on not feeling guilty about it, but baby steps, people! So this week was the best week ever, because I was able to complain to my boss.